CHAPTER 11: Love Makes the Difference

Love Makes the Difference

The need for significant is the emotional force behind much of, our behavior.

Feeling love by a wife or husband enhances our sense of significance.

I am significant.

Life has meaning.

There is a higher purpose

Without love, I may spend a life time in search of significance, self-worth, and security.

I may not feel significant until someone expresses love to me

Live is not the answer to everything, but it creates a climate of security in which we can seek answers to those things that bother us.

In the security of love:

1. A couple can discuss difference without condemnation 

2. Conflicts can be resolved

3. Two people who are different can learn to live together in harmony

4. We discover how to bring out the best in each other

Those are the rewards of a secure love.

 

WE ARE LIKE ROOMMATES

We don't ever talk. He is always doing something. I wan him to sit on the couch with me and  give me some time, look at me, talk to me about us, about our lives. (SCEAMS, QUALITY TIME)

A perfect wife would be a wife who would come home in the afternoon and fix dinner for (us). ...she would wash the dishes. ...She would sew the buttons on my shirt when they fall off. (SCREAMS, Acts of Service)

 

Can emotional love be reborn in a marriage? You bet.

The key is to learn the primary live language of your spouse and choose to speak it.

Chapter One: What Happens To Love After The Wedding?

What Happens To Love After The Wedding?

It was wonderful before we got married, but somehow after the wedding everything fell apart.  All the love I thought I had for her and the love she seemed to have for me evaporated.

I can believe it happened to me three time

The desire for romantic love is deeply rooted in our psychological makeup

Keeping love alive in our marriages is serious business

The Truth We're Missing

People speak different Love Languages

If we are to communicate effectively across cultural line, we must learn the language of those with whom we wish to communicate with

Your emotional language and the language of your spouse (co-worker, friends, family members, church member) could be as different as Chinese from English

My friend on the plan  was speaking the language of "Affirming Words" to his third wife when he said, "I told how beautiful she was..."

Perhaps she was looking for love in his behavior and did not see it. Being sincere is  not enough


There are  not 10, 20, 365 basic love languages. In my opinion there are only five. However, there may be numerous dialects (of Love)

Seldom do a husband and wife, ( two friends, co-workers etc...)  have the same emotional love language

We tend to speak our primary love language, and and we become confused when  our spouse don't understand what we are communicating. We are expressing our love, but the message does not come through because we are speaking what, to them, is as a foreign language.

Once you have learned to speak your spouse's primary love language, I believe that you will have discovered the key to a long lasting, loving marriage.

Love need not to evaporate the wedding, but in order to keep it alive most of us will have to put in the effort to learn a secondary love language.



Discussion Questions:

1. Does the Five Love Language only apply to a marriage or romantic relationship?

2. Is it possible to apply these languages to friends, co-workers, church members, and family?

3. How is one's love language form?

4. If we answered #2 Yes, How can we at Friendship use this book to better communicate the love of Christ to them in ways they would understand?

Here is the website where you can take the test to know your Love Language:

http://www.5lovelanguages.com/profile/